One Year Ago.....

One Year Ago today I said "Goodbye" to my dad for now anyways. He was so sick and I am so grateful that he was able to leave peacefully and in no pain. It has been a bitter-sweet year without him, if he wasnt so sick I think it would have been harder to accept, but I know I will see him again and I know he is in a much better place and free of pain so it is an okay thing.  It is hard to wrap my head around sometimes like when I am driving in my car and feeling a little lonely I think to myself "I wish I could just call my dad" The last few months of his life I talked to him EVERY single day so it was a huge adjustment to not. It has been hard to not call him and tell him exciting things like when we were pregnant, what gender the baby would  be, when Molly says or does funny things, when Maggie arrived and her stats, and having him come hold her when she was just a few days old like he did with Molly. They say the first year is the hardest and I can believe that, I still can't believe it has been a whole year and I am grateful it gets easier all the time. When Maggie had that spot on her heart and it ended up being nothing to worry about I like to think it is an angel kiss from my dad. I know he has seen her and will get to see her, but it still makes me sad that I wont have any pictures of them together. 

 I got some pinwheels to put on his grave at the store awhile ago, Molly wanted to play with them and I told her they were for Papa's grave and put them up where she couldn't get them. When I got them out again she picked them up and said "Mommy, for Papa's grave" with the biggest smile on her face. When she see's pictures of him she knows exactly who he is, she either calls him "Papa" or "Papa No(snow)", I am so glad she remembers who he is and knows that he is in Heaven with Jesus. Its really sweet to hear her talk about it. 

 Now that it has been a year we have the opportunity to do his Temple work which I think is pretty cool, in fact we are going to do both his and his brothers at the same time, we are going to wait till sometime in the summer when we can get the name card and everything lined up. I am pretty excited about it and know he will be happy to have had Clint do his work for him since he can no longer do it himself:)

Saying Goodbye....

 

My all time favorite picture of Molly and my Dad

 

My dad and I when I was a wee little baby:)

 

Me and my Dad at Lake Powell when I was just about 3 I think (I look like a little boy with that hair cut-haha, I like Molly did not have that thick of hair!)

I Love you Dad....